Popular Nigerian actress and media personality, Toke Makinwa, has been making waves recently with her candid advice to young ladies. In a recent interview, Toke shared her thoughts on marriage, love, and self-discovery, urging young women to avoid getting married in their 20s.
According to Toke, "I tell young people that they have no business getting married in their early or mid-twenties. Figure out yourself. Know yourself first." This advice may come as a surprise to many, especially in a society where marriage is often seen as a milestone to be achieved as early as possible.
Toke's advice is rooted in her own personal experience. She revealed that she spent her entire 20s following one man, and it was only later that she realized she had lost herself in the process. "I don't think I liked my twenties. I don't think I knew what I was doing because I was in love with one man in my 20s," she said.
The Importance of Self-Discovery
Toke's advice highlights the importance of self-discovery, especially for young women. Your 20s are a time of exploration, experimentation, and growth. It's a decade where you're figuring out your career, your passions, and your values. Getting married too early can stifle this process, causing you to lose yourself in the process.
When you get married too early, you may feel pressure to conform to societal expectations of what a wife or partner should be. You may feel like you need to put your own dreams and aspirations on hold to support your partner's goals. This can lead to resentment, frustration, and a sense of disconnection from your own identity.
The Benefits of Waiting
Waiting until your 30s or later to get married can have numerous benefits. For one, you've had time to establish your career, build your own identity, and develop emotional maturity. You're more likely to know what you want in life, what your non-negotiables are, and what kind of partner you need to support your goals.
Additionally, waiting until your 30s or later to get married can also reduce the risk of divorce. According to statistics, couples who get married at an older age tend to have lower divorce rates. This may be because they've had time to develop emotional maturity, establish their careers, and build a stronger foundation for their relationship.
Conclusion
Toke Makinwa's advice to young ladies is a timely reminder of the importance of self-discovery and emotional maturity. Your 20s are a time of exploration and growth, and getting married too early can stifle this process. By waiting until your 30s or later to get married, you can establish your career, build your own identity, and develop emotional maturity. Remember, it's okay to take your time, focus on yourself, and figure out what you want in life.
Additional Resources:
- "The Defining Decade: Why Your Twenties Matter--and How to Make the Most of Them Now" by Meg Jay
- "Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find—and Keep—Love" by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller
- "The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts" by Gary Chapman